سه شنبه، 25 اسفندماه 1383

تاملی در تفسیر "بیپ،بیپ..." و نقدی بر روده درازی های شبه عارفانه!

چندي پيش كه در مشهد بودم، تماسي گرفتم با منزل يكي از دوستان محض احوال‌پرسي. پيام ضبط شده‌اي ندا داد كه: «مشترك گرامي! شماره مورد نظر شما مشغول مي‌باشد؛ لطفا بعدا شماره گيري فرماييد». تعجب كردم چرا كه قبلا از شماره‌هاي تلفن همراه چنين پيام‌هايي به گوش مي‌رسيد و اين ابتكار حياتي تا مرحله تلفن‌هاي ثابت نزول نكرده بود!... چند بار ديگر شماره را گرفتم ولي باز همان پيام تكرار و مشخص شد كه مركز مخابرات آن منطقه، براي "خدمت‌رساني" بهتر به مشتركين‌اش، سيستمي نصب كرده كه چنين پيغام‌هايي صادر كند! البته براي من كه يك‌سال (دقيقا 364 روز) در روابط عمومي يك شركت بزرگ دولتي كار كرده بودم، چرايي و چگونگي راه‌اندازي چنين سيستم‌هايي تا حدودي روشن بود: بودجه كلاني در دسترس است؛ روابط عمومي (يا دفتر مشابهي مثلا ستاد اجرايي "طرح تكريم ارباب رجوع") به دنبال هزينه كردن بودجه در راه‌هايي است تا "نمود" خوبي داشته باشد و خوب"به چشم بيايد"، يك شركت رند (معمولا از خودي ها) چنين سيستم‌هايي (و در راس آنها "كال سنتر"هاي ابلهانه) را با مبلغ بالا معرفي و پيشنهاد مي‌كند؛ مسوولين پرت از مرحله، ذوق زده مي‌شوند.... و خلاصه چنين مي‌شود كه شده. اما اين مورد برايم تازگي خاصي داشت و مرا به فكر فرو برد: وقتي همه معناي "بيپ بيپ" را مي‌دانند و شعور هر كس به آن اندازه هست كه تصميم بگيرد كه در هنگام مشغول بودن شماره، بعدا شماره گيري بكند يا نكند، چرا پيامي به جاي آن قرار مي‌گيرد تا آن را تفسير و راهكار ارائه دهد؟ اگر يك تماس‌گيرنده خارجي با اين شماره مشغول تماس بگيرد، تكليف چيست؟ چرا تكنولوژي در خدمت تفسير يك "بيپ بيپ..." ساده قرار مي‌گيرد؟ چرا صدايي كه به يك نماد بين المللي براي "مشغوليت" تبديل شده، با صرف هزينه مبدل مي‌شود به گفتار ؟
دور و برم را كه بيشتر نگاه كردم، مشابه اين مساله (تفسير بيهوده و ابلهانه نمادهاي آشنا، و معمولا در پي آن ارائه راهكارها و دستورات بديهي و در عين حال بي معنا) را بيشتر ديدم و بعد كم‌كم اين اتفاق ساده مرا بيشتر به فكر فرو برد. آنقدر بيشتر كه گمان كردم كه بسياري از آثار عرفاني و فلسفي (ايراني-اسلامي؛ اسكولاستيك) هم كه شهره‌اند، در حقيقت از نوع همان تبديل و تفسير "بيپ بيپ..." به «مشترك گرامي! شماره مورد نظر شما مشغول مي‌باشد؛ لطفا بعدا شماره گيري فرماييد» هستند. خصوصا عرفان كه قرار بوده رمزگو و نمادساز باشد اندك اندك در دست شارحان و عارفان حرفه‌اي(!) تبديل شده به رمز گشا. (تفاسير معوج وغامض درباره "مي" توسط شارحان روده‌درازِ دل در گرو شريعت نهاده را نديده‌ايد؟)
رمز گشايي از چيزي كه وقتي گشوده شود، ديگر محلي از اعراب نخواهد داشت. نظير علائم گرافيكي راهنمايي و رانندگي كه اگر قرار باشد معناي آنها هميشه در كنار آنها باشد و ضميمه لا يتجزي، فلسفه وجودي آنها مخدوش مي‌شود! (بگذريم از آنكه تفسيرهاي نمادهاي گرافيكي، در عين اشتراك بلاهت و بيهودگي از نظر پايبندي به صداقت از تفاسير عرفاني برترند!)
در مبتذل‌ترين حالت، نمونه‌هاي بارز رويكرد "بيپ بيپ تفسيركن" به عرفان را، در "برنامه‌هاي معنويت چپان" صدا و سيما ببينيد.

 
 

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Record company EMI sign a deal with the estate of crooner Dean Martin to use the singer's likeness.

August 28, 2007 1:46 PM
Web

#135 Harold Breaux

The Rolling Stones postpone a show in the US to allow singer Sir Mick Jagger time to rest his voice.

August 28, 2007 2:08 PM
Web

#136 Damion Strand

Pop trio Atomic Kitten will reform to play a concert in support of jailed Liverpool football fan Michael Shields.

August 28, 2007 3:07 PM
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#137 Damion Strand

Pop trio Atomic Kitten will reform to play a concert in support of jailed Liverpool football fan Michael Shields.

August 28, 2007 3:08 PM
Web

#138 Damion Strand

Pop trio Atomic Kitten will reform to play a concert in support of jailed Liverpool football fan Michael Shields.

August 28, 2007 3:09 PM
Web

#139 Damion Strand

Pop trio Atomic Kitten will reform to play a concert in support of jailed Liverpool football fan Michael Shields.

August 28, 2007 3:10 PM
Web

#140 Joe Ouellette

Classical singer Russell Watson postpones his forthcoming UK tour after undergoing brain surgery.

August 28, 2007 3:33 PM
Web

#141 Joe Ouellette

Classical singer Russell Watson postpones his forthcoming UK tour after undergoing brain surgery.

August 28, 2007 3:33 PM
Web

#142 Jevon Cornelius

The judge who put coded messages in his Da Vinci Code plagiarism trial ruling has written another.

August 28, 2007 3:53 PM
Web

#143 Jevon Cornelius

The judge who put coded messages in his Da Vinci Code plagiarism trial ruling has written another.

August 28, 2007 3:53 PM
Web

#144 Scott Shelly

Borat creator Sacha Baron Cohen reportedly signs a $42.5m (22m) film deal starring his character Bruno.

August 28, 2007 4:12 PM
Web

#145 Scott Shelly

Borat creator Sacha Baron Cohen reportedly signs a $42.5m (22m) film deal starring his character Bruno.

August 28, 2007 4:13 PM
Web

#146 Scott Shelly

Borat creator Sacha Baron Cohen reportedly signs a $42.5m (22m) film deal starring his character Bruno.

August 28, 2007 4:13 PM
Web

#147 Coby Whitworth

Alec Baldwin asks for his voice to be removed from an "unfair" documentary about Arnold Schwarzenegger.

August 28, 2007 5:48 PM
Web

#148 Malcolm Kenney

Record company EMI sign a deal with the estate of crooner Dean Martin to use the singer's likeness.

August 28, 2007 6:02 PM
Web

#149 Malcolm Kenney

Record company EMI sign a deal with the estate of crooner Dean Martin to use the singer's likeness.

August 28, 2007 6:03 PM
Web

#150 Malcolm Kenney

Record company EMI sign a deal with the estate of crooner Dean Martin to use the singer's likeness.

August 28, 2007 6:04 PM
Web

#151 Malcolm Kenney

Record company EMI sign a deal with the estate of crooner Dean Martin to use the singer's likeness.

August 28, 2007 6:04 PM
Web

#152 Kamron Dupont

Classical singer Russell Watson postpones his forthcoming UK tour after undergoing brain surgery.

August 28, 2007 6:21 PM
Web

#153 Kamron Dupont

Classical singer Russell Watson postpones his forthcoming UK tour after undergoing brain surgery.

August 28, 2007 6:23 PM
Web

#154 Vernon Low

Madonna says she may adopt another child from abroad following her proposed adoption of a Malawian boy.

August 28, 2007 6:39 PM
Web

#155 Vernon Low

Madonna says she may adopt another child from abroad following her proposed adoption of a Malawian boy.

August 28, 2007 6:40 PM
Web

#156 Brooks Pitcher

Veteran game show host Bob Barker is stepping down from hosting The Price is Right after 35 years.

August 28, 2007 6:54 PM
Web

#157 Brooks Pitcher

Veteran game show host Bob Barker is stepping down from hosting The Price is Right after 35 years.

August 28, 2007 6:56 PM
Web

#158 Kennedy Mclane

Madonna says she may adopt another child from abroad following her proposed adoption of a Malawian boy.

August 28, 2007 7:30 PM
Web

#159 Kennedy Mclane

Madonna says she may adopt another child from abroad following her proposed adoption of a Malawian boy.

August 28, 2007 7:30 PM
Web

#160 Samuel Bogan

TV host Oprah Winfrey gives audience members $1,000 (526) each to donate to a charitable cause.

August 28, 2007 7:52 PM
Web

#161 Allen Stark

Classical singer Russell Watson postpones his forthcoming UK tour after undergoing brain surgery.

August 28, 2007 8:11 PM
Web

#162 Adam Barela

A musical about the witches from The Wizard of Oz breaks West End box office records, its producers say.

August 28, 2007 8:25 PM
Web

#163 Adam Barela

A musical about the witches from The Wizard of Oz breaks West End box office records, its producers say.

August 28, 2007 8:26 PM
Web

#164 Adam Barela

A musical about the witches from The Wizard of Oz breaks West End box office records, its producers say.

August 28, 2007 8:27 PM
Web

#165 Troy Younger

Colombia's vice president is "baffled" by Kate Moss's success following cocaine allegations.

August 28, 2007 8:52 PM
Web

#166 Troy Younger

Colombia's vice president is "baffled" by Kate Moss's success following cocaine allegations.

August 28, 2007 8:52 PM
Web

#167 Muhammad Centeno

Pioneering screenwriter Nigel Kneale, best known for the Quatermass TV serials and films, dies aged 84.

August 28, 2007 9:08 PM
Web

#168 Muhammad Centeno

Pioneering screenwriter Nigel Kneale, best known for the Quatermass TV serials and films, dies aged 84.

August 28, 2007 9:11 PM
Web

#169 Shawn Rees

Singer George Michael lends the piano on which John Lennon wrote Imagine to an anti-war exhibition.

August 28, 2007 9:27 PM
Web

#170 Shawn Rees

Singer George Michael lends the piano on which John Lennon wrote Imagine to an anti-war exhibition.

August 28, 2007 9:27 PM
Web

#171 Brett Buie

The first stage of a 150m investment in regional museums is praised for boosting visitor numbers.

August 28, 2007 9:47 PM
Web

#172 Brett Buie

The first stage of a 150m investment in regional museums is praised for boosting visitor numbers.

August 28, 2007 9:48 PM
Web

#173 Devonte Wilhelm

London-born rapper Sway is to be honoured at the BET Hip-Hop awards in the US.

August 28, 2007 10:00 PM
Web

#174 Devonte Wilhelm

London-born rapper Sway is to be honoured at the BET Hip-Hop awards in the US.

August 28, 2007 10:00 PM
Web

#175 Devonte Wilhelm

London-born rapper Sway is to be honoured at the BET Hip-Hop awards in the US.

August 28, 2007 10:01 PM
Web

#176 Devonte Wilhelm

London-born rapper Sway is to be honoured at the BET Hip-Hop awards in the US.

August 28, 2007 10:02 PM
Web

#177 Nathen Pennington

Classical singer Russell Watson postpones his forthcoming UK tour after undergoing brain surgery.

August 28, 2007 10:39 PM
Web

#178 Nathen Pennington

Classical singer Russell Watson postpones his forthcoming UK tour after undergoing brain surgery.

August 28, 2007 10:40 PM
Web

#179 Nathen Pennington

Classical singer Russell Watson postpones his forthcoming UK tour after undergoing brain surgery.

August 28, 2007 10:40 PM
Web

#180 Joshua Jefferies

London-born rapper Sway is to be honoured at the BET Hip-Hop awards in the US.

August 28, 2007 10:53 PM
Web

#181 Joshua Jefferies

London-born rapper Sway is to be honoured at the BET Hip-Hop awards in the US.

August 28, 2007 10:56 PM
Web

#182 Angelo Keel

Veteran actor William Franklyn, known for voicing the 1960s Schweppes TV adverts, dies aged 81.

August 28, 2007 11:30 PM
Web

#183 Titus Hwang

TV host Oprah Winfrey gives audience members $1,000 (526) each to donate to a charitable cause.

August 29, 2007 12:11 AM
Web

#184 Isai Draper

Singer George Michael lends the piano on which John Lennon wrote Imagine to an anti-war exhibition.

August 29, 2007 12:47 AM
Web

#185 Addison Jarrett

The Red Hot Chili Peppers are leading the way at this years MTV Europe music awards with four nominations.

August 29, 2007 1:17 AM
Web

#186 Mike Weatherford

Madonna says she may adopt another child from abroad following her proposed adoption of a Malawian boy.

August 29, 2007 1:37 AM
Web

#187 Mike Weatherford

Madonna says she may adopt another child from abroad following her proposed adoption of a Malawian boy.

August 29, 2007 1:38 AM
Web

#188 Elliott Littleton

William Styron, whose Holocaust novel Sophie's Choice became a film and an opera, has died, aged 81.

August 29, 2007 2:28 AM
Web

#189 Immanuel Walston

TV host Oprah Winfrey gives audience members $1,000 (526) each to donate to a charitable cause.

August 29, 2007 2:40 AM
Web

#190 Immanuel Walston

TV host Oprah Winfrey gives audience members $1,000 (526) each to donate to a charitable cause.

August 29, 2007 2:41 AM
Web

#191 Immanuel Walston

TV host Oprah Winfrey gives audience members $1,000 (526) each to donate to a charitable cause.

August 29, 2007 2:42 AM
Web

#192 Zackary Raymond

Pioneering screenwriter Nigel Kneale, best known for the Quatermass TV serials and films, dies aged 84.

August 29, 2007 2:50 AM
Web

#193 Zackary Raymond

Pioneering screenwriter Nigel Kneale, best known for the Quatermass TV serials and films, dies aged 84.

August 29, 2007 2:50 AM
Web

#194 Zackary Raymond

Pioneering screenwriter Nigel Kneale, best known for the Quatermass TV serials and films, dies aged 84.

August 29, 2007 2:51 AM
Web

#195 Kyle Thibodeaux

Veteran actor William Franklyn, known for voicing the 1960s Schweppes TV adverts, dies aged 81.

August 29, 2007 2:59 AM
Web

#196 Dillan Valencia

Record company EMI sign a deal with the estate of crooner Dean Martin to use the singer's likeness.

August 29, 2007 3:37 AM
Web

#197 Dillan Valencia

Record company EMI sign a deal with the estate of crooner Dean Martin to use the singer's likeness.

August 29, 2007 3:37 AM
Web

#198 Dillan Valencia

Record company EMI sign a deal with the estate of crooner Dean Martin to use the singer's likeness.

August 29, 2007 3:37 AM
Web

#199 Kristopher Epperson

The Rolling Stones cancel a gig in Hawaii and postpone other tour dates as Mick Jagger suffers throat troubles.

August 29, 2007 3:49 AM
Web

#200 Kristopher Epperson

The Rolling Stones cancel a gig in Hawaii and postpone other tour dates as Mick Jagger suffers throat troubles.

August 29, 2007 3:50 AM
Web

#201 Theodore Fiore

Alec Baldwin asks for his voice to be removed from an "unfair" documentary about Arnold Schwarzenegger.

August 29, 2007 4:11 AM
Web

#202 Theodore Fiore

Alec Baldwin asks for his voice to be removed from an "unfair" documentary about Arnold Schwarzenegger.

August 29, 2007 4:13 AM
Web

#203 Theodore Fiore

Alec Baldwin asks for his voice to be removed from an "unfair" documentary about Arnold Schwarzenegger.

August 29, 2007 4:13 AM
Web

#204 Colby Travis

Classical singer Russell Watson postpones his forthcoming UK tour after undergoing brain surgery.

August 29, 2007 4:24 AM
Web

#205 Colby Travis

Classical singer Russell Watson postpones his forthcoming UK tour after undergoing brain surgery.

August 29, 2007 4:25 AM
Web

#206 Colby Travis

Classical singer Russell Watson postpones his forthcoming UK tour after undergoing brain surgery.

August 29, 2007 4:25 AM
Web

#207 Colby Travis

Classical singer Russell Watson postpones his forthcoming UK tour after undergoing brain surgery.

August 29, 2007 4:26 AM
Web

#208 Xavier Tavares

Alec Baldwin asks for his voice to be removed from an "unfair" documentary about Arnold Schwarzenegger.

August 29, 2007 4:35 AM
Web

#209 Xavier Tavares

Alec Baldwin asks for his voice to be removed from an "unfair" documentary about Arnold Schwarzenegger.

August 29, 2007 4:37 AM
Web

#210 Raphael Doughty

Doctor Who takes three prizes at the National Television Awards in a repeat of its success last year.

August 29, 2007 4:46 AM
Web

#211 Raphael Doughty

Doctor Who takes three prizes at the National Television Awards in a repeat of its success last year.

August 29, 2007 4:47 AM
Web

#212 Karson Deal

The Red Hot Chili Peppers are leading the way at this years MTV Europe music awards with four nominations.

August 29, 2007 4:57 AM
Web

#213 Karson Deal

The Red Hot Chili Peppers are leading the way at this years MTV Europe music awards with four nominations.

August 29, 2007 4:59 AM
Web

#214 Danny Crocker

Pioneering screenwriter Nigel Kneale, best known for the Quatermass TV serials and films, dies aged 84.

August 29, 2007 5:31 AM
Web

#215 Danny Crocker

Pioneering screenwriter Nigel Kneale, best known for the Quatermass TV serials and films, dies aged 84.

August 29, 2007 5:32 AM
Web

#216 Danny Crocker

Pioneering screenwriter Nigel Kneale, best known for the Quatermass TV serials and films, dies aged 84.

August 29, 2007 5:32 AM
Web

#217 Mekhi Heckman

Alec Baldwin asks for his voice to be removed from an "unfair" documentary about Arnold Schwarzenegger.

August 29, 2007 5:43 AM
Web

#218 Mekhi Heckman

Alec Baldwin asks for his voice to be removed from an "unfair" documentary about Arnold Schwarzenegger.

August 29, 2007 5:43 AM
Web

#219 Mekhi Heckman

Alec Baldwin asks for his voice to be removed from an "unfair" documentary about Arnold Schwarzenegger.

August 29, 2007 5:44 AM
Web

#220 Mekhi Heckman

Alec Baldwin asks for his voice to be removed from an "unfair" documentary about Arnold Schwarzenegger.

August 29, 2007 5:45 AM
Web

#221 Mekhi Heckman

Alec Baldwin asks for his voice to be removed from an "unfair" documentary about Arnold Schwarzenegger.

August 29, 2007 5:45 AM
Web

#222 Reynaldo Moses

The Rolling Stones postpone a show in the US to allow singer Sir Mick Jagger time to rest his voice.

August 29, 2007 5:57 AM
Web

#223 Reynaldo Moses

The Rolling Stones postpone a show in the US to allow singer Sir Mick Jagger time to rest his voice.

August 29, 2007 5:58 AM