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« روزنامه شرق در برابر انقلاب |
خانه
| تاملی در تفسیر "بیپ،بیپ..." و نقدی بر روده درازی های شبه عارفانه! »
سه شنبه، 18 اسفندماه 1383
يادداشتي براي يك مرده
ديشب گوشي تلفن را كه برداشتم، صداي تو را شنيدم. يك آن، حالت غريبي بين حيرت و شعف، تمام وجودم را گرفت. به خودم گفتم: «ديدي همش يه كابوس بود!... آخ جون الآن از خواب بيدار ميشم». ولي اشتباه كردهبودم. هادي بود و چقدر صدايش شبيه تو. كاش اشتباه نكرده بودم و از اين خواب بد بيدار مي شدم؛ كاش تو هم اشتباه نكرده بودي آن روز كه پايت را زيادي روي پدال گاز فشار دادي و ما را به اين خواب بد نميبردي....
امروز بليط داريم من و سهراب و پريسا و مامانش، ميآييم مشهد، و بعد از آنجا به قدمگاه براي چهلم تو. حال سگت خوب است و همچنان گربهبازي ميكند! و باقي، همه حالشان بد است. اخلاق خوزه به خودت رفته است: مهربان، آسانگير، دمغنيمتشمار... . تقريبا هر روز عكسهايت را نگاه مي كنم و از همه بيشتر يكي اين را ميپسندم و يكي آن را كه در خانه ما قبل رفتن به اراك انداختي. يادت ميآيد آمده بودي خانه ما كه از آنجا بروي دوره هپكو و من گفتم چقدر بزرگ شدهاي و بردمت توي اتاق كناري و ازت آن عكس را گرفتم كه ساعت ديواري، عين خورشيد گوشه بالاي عكس افتاده بود؟ (ساعت مدتهاست كه خوابيده) و بعد تو رفتي به اراك به ديدن دورهاي كه استادش از ايتاليا آمده بود و –رندانه- هي «اوكي گويان» بيلاخ ميداده بود به حضار كه يعني «دمتان گرم» و هر چي ملت سرخ و سفيد ميشده بودند تحويل نمي گرفته تا اينكه يك روز بعد «اوكي» مردك، تو هم انگشت وسطت را مي آوري بالا و مي گويي «اوكي» و طرف تا بناگوش سرخ ميشود و ديگر هيچوت بيلاخ به جماعت ايراني حواله نمي دهد!
چند روز است كه در رويا تو را و همه را مي بينم كه در مه راه ميرويم. تو ناگهان مي ايستي و ما بي اختيار ادامه مي دهيم. برميگردم و به تو نگاه مي كنم كه همچنان ايستادهاي و صامت و بيحركت به ما خيره ماندهاي. كمكم در مه كمرنگ ميشوي...
راستي،خوشبهحالت كه يك درخت جوان بالاي گورت است. چند روز ديگر درخت شكوفه ميكند و پرندهها در پاي بينالود، ميهمان تو ميشوند.
كاش من هم مثل تو زنده شوم...
-----
پ.م.
1- دستت درد نكند كه من و مجيد را نوشته بودي در ورقه بيمه عمرت كه بشويم ميراثخوار برادر كوچترمان. داشتيم ؟
2- صبح حوالي ساعت پنج و نيم ميرسيم مشهد و لابد هوا خيلي سرد است. تو كه نيستي... كي بيايد دنبالمان؟
ارسال نظر
نظرات قبلی
#1 Hamed
محمود تو عجیب می نویسی این یادداشت ها را. من گریه ام گرفت امروز. تو چه می کشی.
March 8, 2005 3:07 PM
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#2 احمد رضا همتي
سلام محمود جان. نوشته ات بسيار جانگداز بود اميدوارم بر اين مصيبت صبر جميل داشته باشي.
March 8, 2005 3:44 PM
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#4 سام
محمود، دیروز یکی از بچه های صفحه بندی پدرش را از دست داد. برایش بغض کردم که اون طوری در بهت، نمی توانست دست هایش را تکان دهد. چند وقت پیش برای علی داغ دیدیم. حالا تو و غمت که غم ما هم شده. نمی دانم ما کی خلاص می شویم؟ باورت نمی شه اینقدر این روزها خبر بد زیاد است که مدام دارم با خودم کلنجار می رم از پا نیفتم. تو هم با این نوشته درد ما را بیشتر کردی.
March 9, 2005 12:28 PM
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#5 saaghi
man iinjaa bas delam tang asto har saazi ke mibiinam bad aahang ast................
March 9, 2005 10:00 PM
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#7 parisa
به قول مادرت ، هزار حيف محسن جان ، هزار هزار حيف ، هزار هزار حيف...
March 12, 2005 3:01 PM
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#8 رضا
محمود عزیز ، برایت از خداوند صبر می خواهم به امید روزی که دوباره زیبایی ها و شادی های زندگی بر غم هایش چیره شوند .
March 15, 2005 11:28 AM
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#9 Baccarat Game
Whoa,is really how i felt the first time seeing your site with all the links and everything.
May 15, 2005 5:35 PM
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#10 Jake
Eery easy to use interface. Access your files from anywhere in the world, with almost any browser.
December 29, 2005 3:18 PM
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#11 xpharma
(AHN) - Paris Hiltons 2006 has started with lawsuits coming out the ying-yang.
Reports are surfacing that a close friend of Paris Hiltons boyfriend Stavros Niarchos has accused the heir-head of using racial insults against him, tagging him a lazy Mexican.
Brian Quintana, an L.A. events promoter, served Hiltons attorney with a cease and desist order, and has also applied for a restraining order against the socialite.
Reportedly, in legal papers Quintana said Hilton has bombarded him with threatening phone calls threatening to destroy his friendship with Niarchos. Quintana also alleges that Hilton has a drug problem. He reportedly played a recorded phone conversation to a newspaper in which a female he claims to be Hilton, screams obscenities and insists that Quintana is a pathetic loser.
January 8, 2006 9:20 AM
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